yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
