you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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