You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
