I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
