im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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