I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
