forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
ugly people sure do ruin things
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
