I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
