Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Randomize
