You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
