I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
