I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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