He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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