The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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