YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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