I'm drive I can fine osifer
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
