I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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