I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
