I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize