I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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