I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize