Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We had sex on a dog bed..
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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