I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
