Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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