He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
