I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
MIDGETS
????
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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