he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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