Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize