but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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