you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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