turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize