please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
