My friends, they love my intelligence
Don't make out with my wife yet
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
