I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
whose parrot is this?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
