Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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