Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
