I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
are you so shy because you have an std?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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