I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize