you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
