I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Farmville is her only friend.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I see more hoeing in ur future
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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