I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
