True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
