How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
