She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
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A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
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It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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