a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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