I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize