dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
