so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
