He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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