I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
