That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
