Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
