Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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