I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Randomize
