I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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