Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
