Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
