I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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