I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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