brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
