And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
