a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
