so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
