This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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